Tag Archives: hair care

Hair success!

I have made a couple of posts dedicated to the issue of hair and felt like an update was well overdue.
I am pleased to say that at the moment, I feel like I have cracked it! I have been sticking to washing my daughter’s hair only when it needs it (usually every 2 to 3 weeks is the longest we go without her stuffing play dough, custard or jam into her hair) and combing, or trying to comb, daily; then adding coconut oil.
I have been quietly happy with her hair myself for a while now. I can’t say she shares my enthusiasm for the daily routine, as I still have to do a lot of walking behind her hunched over whilst trying to comb, whilst she tries desperately to get on with playing with her toys or sometimes has full blown screaming fits. I have found Peppa Pig works well to hold her attention, but as soon as I hit a snag, that’s it, she’s off!
In the last month, however, I have had a couple of comments from people about how good her hair looks. Last week, I was at a stay and play session and was talking to the nanny of one of my daughter’s friends. She commented on how good her hair looked and asked what products I used; she told me ‘whatever you are doing, keep doing, as it looks great’. The little girl that she is nanny to is mixed race, so I know that she understood that you can’t just treat it as European hair! Later that day, my friend who has two mixed race children also asked me what I had done with her hair, as it looks so healthy. It was a real affirmation that all that hard work had paid off and we were finally getting somewhere!
On the matter of hair, I caught the Chris Rock film ‘Good Hair’ on iPlayer last week. I wouldn’t recommend it for getting any tips on managing hair, but it is certainly a very interesting documentary as it explores the relationships between Black women and hair, the politics of natural hair, straightening, use of human hair and weaves. For anyone with a mixed race child with Black heritage, it is worth a look. For me it reiterated the need to ensure that our daughters love and embrace their natural hair and are not swayed by the fashion and cosmetic industry’s standards of ‘beauty’.

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Pulling out my hair…..

I think its fair to say that one of the biggest subjects for parents of mixed race children is hair. Practically from the moment that you announce your pregnancy, people are already speculating on how their hair will turn out. It seems to be a constant source of fascination and scrutiny from conception right the way through til…. well, forever, I guess.

knew that there was little point in thinking too deeply about it, as I know from experience of other family members that even siblings can have very different hair types. To be honest, it just wasn’t one of the most pressing matters on my mind whilst pregnant. Even up until recently, I have been really quite laid back about the whole thing.

My daughter’s hair has certainly changed over the 14 months of her life – which to be honest has only heightened the scrutiny of others. When she was born with straight hair, friends and family were flabbergasted – how can she be born with straight hair? do you think it will change? do you think it will be afro hair? do you think it will be curly? oohh it might be like *insert name of famous person with curly hair*. And those are just the comments; some can’t resist a touch!

Over the past few months, she has gradually got more and more hair and as it has grown longer it has grown into adorable spiral curls. As my daughter suffers from eczema, her bath water is very oily due to the products I add to soothe her skin. As such, I have never actually washed her hair – simply wet it with the oily water at the end of her bath. It seems to do the trick as it springs back into gorgeous curls.

However, recently, this hasn’t quite worked. For a start off, the longer sections on the top of her head have started to get knotted up, which attracts fluff and starts to look as if its forming a lock. I was given a baby brush by colleagues when I left work on maternity leave, but using that would just turn it into a huge ball of fluff; what sort of brush or comb do I need? In addition to this, the hair at the back of her hair has started to get really fluffy, especially at the end of the day. I have no idea how to deal with this and have started to feel like I am a bit out of my depth!! 

I know how important hair is to girls and women; for me I know its a huge link to our self esteem, so I want to get this right. I started to look online to see if there were any pearls of wisdom and I asked a couple of friends with mixed race children to see what they have done. The general consensus seems to be that there is no magic answer, that you have to find what works for your child’s hair. So… let the experimenting begin!

What I do know is that I want to keep things as natural as possible – after all, she is still so young. I have started off with trying almond oil. After doing a skin test to check for any reactions, I have been putting this in her hair for the last two days and have stopped putting water through her hair at the end of her bath as I have heard that this dries out the hair. Lets see how it goes…